One of the hardest things a person could witness is the decline of their parents. The people that took care of you now need you to take care of them. Unfortunately, as adults we may have children, a job, or other responsibilities which makes it difficult to balance it all. When I became a caregiver for my mother, it was and continues to be a struggle to manage the emotional burden of guilt.
Guilt can come from many places. I often felt that I could not financially afford to provide the best care for my mother. No matter how much time I spent with her, it never seemed like enough. At times, it felt like I was failing her. Moreover, friends and family can unintentionally make you feel like you are not doing enough. They might suggest that you should never leave your loved one in a nursing home or assisted living facility, making you question your choices. The guilt, combined with the lack of support from those around youyou, can be emotionally exhausting. I also felt like I had stripped away her independence, her home, and some of her friends. Along with packing up your loved ones’ things, you will also pack up emotions, memories, and the familiar routines that will be forever gone. You are smacked in the face with the reality that the person you turned to for strength and guidance is fading away. The guilt, combined with the lack of support from those around you, can be emotionally exhausting.
Being a caregiver is not just about meeting physical needs; it is about the emotional strain that can silently wear you down. It is a journey that is often lonely, despite the best intentions of those around you. Guilt is a powerful emotion, and it is hard not to feel like you are falling short in some way. But it is important to remember that caring for yourself and recognizing your own limits does not make you any less of a loving and dedicated caregiver.
If you are reading this and feeling similar emotions, I want you to know you are not alone. Caregiving is an incredibly complex and difficult journey, but it does not mean you are failing. I did feel like a failure when I finally made the decision to place my mother in an assisted living facility, but it is the best decision I could have made for both her and I. I now get a glimpse of the mother who watched over me. I acknowledge there are countless blogs and resources about caregiving, but since you’re here, share your thoughts and tools that have helped you with managing the emotional strain of being a caregiver. Remember, be kind to yourself and understand that seeking help and finding balance is part of being the best caregiver you can be.
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